Negotiation and Personal Relationships

Greetings Again!

No one provides me as much opportunity to negotiate as my wife does. If you are in an intimate relationship and it's lasted longer than a weekend then you have experienced the duel of wills that occurs between two people that function like two people but think they exist as one.

The construct of "Negotiate to Your Own Best Good" requires the practitioner to consider the long and short term impact of their marvelous skills in any given context. I know in most situations I could probably out-negotiate my wife and there have certainly been situations where I did just that. I don't do it often, I try not to do it at all. With a significant other, it's best if your negotiation really is a capital "Y" in the word "Your" as opposed to a little "y" which really just is you.

I would like to contrast "Your" vs "your". First of all if you wish to negotiate more than once with people - or think you might, resist the urge to "beat" someone in a negotiation. The best negotiation is when the other person isn't really aware they are negotiation AND they are doing most of your work for you in the face of your magnificent resourceful questions and other fine tactics.

That reminds me of this joke: "There are these two bulls standing at the top of this hill looking down into a valley full of cows. The young bull says..." if you've not heard the joke - it's a great moral about scaring away your resources.

In short, if you don't highlight the capital "Y" in Your then there is a good chance your negotiating compliment might not ask you back for round two.

It's late so I will negotiate into the world of dreams now.

Bruce
The Negotiator
http://negotiate2yourownbestgood.com